Why the world thinks surfers are retards.

“Dude, you get the best barrels ever dude. Just like you pull in, and you just get spit right out of them. Just drop in, just WHA-PACK!, drop down WHAAAA!! Then after that you just drop in, ride the barrel, and get pitted, so pitted”- Local Huntington Beach surfer. I know exactly what this guy is talking about too. I once duded a best barrel ever, pulled in, and WHA-PACKED the lip. Then I dropped in again, and WHAAAA-ED a best ever dude! Then I dropped in one MORE time, and got pitted, so pitted. Pretty standard stuff really, and I couldn’t have explained it to a non-surfing person any better myself.

Matter of fact, I did all of that just this morning taking a huge dump. You know that feeling you get after taking a huge crap? Well imagine if that crap crawled out of the toilet, put on a wetsuit, and then got interviewed on the beach after a quick session. This is exactly what that might be like.

News clip courtesy of Cj Hobgood’s surf blog.

If you’re gonna be a cliché surfing jackass, there’s only one way to do it.

Related posts:

  1. Awwww, man! It was just a dream?
  2. Local goes apesh!t over “new wetsuit” on Craigslist – Seen on Craigslist
  3. Halloween Came Early in Newport Beach, CA
  4. New Zealand Dolphin Thinks She’s Flipper
  5. How to make tow-in surfers look ghey!

Speak Your Mind

*