“Hello. How did you sleep?”
“Well. Who are you?”
“I am here to make your transition into society smoother.”
“Smoother?”
“Yes. Smoother. A lot has changed in the 15 years that you have been in a coma. After your surfing accident in 1996, the world has changed in a myriad of ways.”
“What do you mean?”
“For one, everyone is on the Internet all the time. No one uses pagers anymore. Newspapers are dying. The future will be read on digital screens instead of on paper. We have cell phones that connect us to our friends and family. You can call them, text them, and even write them an email all on your phone.”
“Are you serious? How do you carry that thing around?”
“It is very easy. Our understanding of the small, of making our technology smaller and smaller, has grown exponentially. A cell phone fits inside of your pocket.”
“Weird.”
“Indeed. The first thing I want to do for you is set up an email account, a facebook page, a twitter account, and an account at thenextpro.com. These are the networks people use to stay connected to one another. We live in a world of extreme connectivity.”
“I can barely understand what you are saying.”
“That is ok for now. I will coach you through the new jargon and modern terminology as we go. But, I thought that you would be especially interested in having an account at thenextpro.com. It is a networking site that looks a lot like facebook, but it’s especially for people who surf, skate, snowboard, kite board, and play other extreme sports. You can post pictures and video, follow your friend’s updates, and post your own updates.”
“Play extreme sports? Who is this guy? What is kite boarding?”
“I have no idea. I don’t do anything that could be considered an extreme sport.”
“How are you supposed to help me then if you don’t even know that?”
“Uh…Don’t worry about that. Just remain calm. I am here to help you. You don’t understand the world.”
“What?”
The man stood beside the patient’s bed. He lifted his head gently off the pillow and removed it. With a sterile look, he indifferently leaned with all the weight of his body on the face of the patient. The pillow stifled his screams. The weak patient with 15 years of unused muscles, uselessly struggled. The darkness closed in, and the air drained from his lungs…
I awoke. The sheets were wet from sweat. I rushed to my computer and typed into the browser thenextpro.com. I was frightened. Could there really be a networking site dedicated to extreme sports? Is it necessary? Am I going to have another website to waste all my time on? How connected is too connected? And why the hell would they call the site: thenextpro.com?
The browser went blank as a page began to load.
thenextpro.com. Is this real? Is it fallicious? There is only one way for you to find out…
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you clever little…!
I love surfing. It’s so fun to talk with other surfers on this site. It’s freakin sick!!! I love the nextpro.com.
Awesome…! Facebook for action sports. Who would have thought?