Messy Jesse is a big fan of Chris Coté, chief sh!t disturber at Transworld Surf, fan of Alex Knost and, as seen here, father of the Stand-Up Paddlepaddling revolution. In this Q&A we turn the tables on Chris. Apologies to Chris for not being able to get the accent thingy é on the photo.
DailyStoke.com: I tried to YouTube some footage of you surfing, and pretty much came up empty handed. Is there a video part of Coté lurking out there somewhere?
Chris Coté: I had some good parts in the Teardevils Triolgy of videos, some other local videos as well, but my best part was in Matt Beauchesne’s (Maker of Momentum Under The Influence, Dude Cruise, etc. ) first surf flick called Empower. Oh, go to Transworld Surf to see some recent video. There’s some creepy Youtube shit of me though, you just have to know where to find it.
My vid search did bring up a couple of your “On the Grill” type interviews. I'm gonna take the cheese route here, and flip that on you…
Backdoor Pipe, or back door sex?
Um, they both can be painful.
Kelly's 5'11, or Mike Stewart's 3'11 with some Churchills?
Ooh, I like Churchill’s, but it would also be fun to ride that board Kelly has. Can I ride both?
Oceanside, or Schlitterbahn?
Schlitterslide.
Model Search, or Rip Curl Search?
Rip Curl Search, yeah, somewhere with good lefts and warm water, see, I can be serious.
Ashley Wilkerson, or Tashia McIntosh?
Oh man, both would be awesome—I need a shower.
I've seen some pictures lately of Jay-Z rocking the same style of glasses you've been wearing in these interviews. Is this going to turn into another Sarah Palin/Tina Fey-type-deal where Cote's ripping Hova's style? Who's biting who here??
They’re biting me, I have a pair of Custom Raen glasses that I’ve had for a few months, JayZ knows who to take style tips from. As for Sarah Palin, she accidently knocked them off my face during a passion session.
Do you think the homosexual men of surfing are waiting for a Speedo search? I've seen the opening clip of you in a Speedo looking get-up. Is this something that you're hinting at?
That’s for the viewer to decide. My body is beautiful and I want to share it with as many people as possible.
Is there anyone you've been dying to get in the cube with you?
The women’s ASP Top 17. Layne Beachley can man the video camera. Get it, “man” the video camera? Get it? Never mind.
[Editor's Note: Coté's words. Can we get sued for this?]
Alright, let's get serious here for a second. Will there ever be a Transworld House in Hawaii with all the Model Search hopeful's playing pillow fight at Pipe all day? Can me, and like 13 of my homies bunk there?
Yes and no.
Are you ever torn between the dream of a professional surfing career, compared to the dream of working for a magazine and using it as a perk to meet hot chicks?
Well I was pro for a while but I eat shit in big waves so I had to do the next best thing and that is making fun of pro surfers and slurping them for free stuff.
Who’s got the best surfing style?
Occy, Bruce, Parko, Dane, Buttons, Potter, Ozzy, Andy, MR, Rabbit, Justin Cote.
The best hair?
Not me.
Best tubin' talent?
Bruce and Andy, so fun to watch them in the tube. That sounded weird.
What’s the best “On The Grill” quote you’ve heard? Or made?
That was some serious Pulitzer Prize winning sh!t, every word I say is amazing and they’re all like my children so I could never pick one.
Who inspires you to be a better, gentler, kinder person?
My new baby, London James Cote.
Who inspires you to do wrong in this world?
The world itself, also just for fun.
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Props to Chris for putting up with our shiz.