there is usually a perfect spot to be in just in front of the breaking wave

Funny sh!t

A Kook’s Guide to: Not looking like a kook while walking up to your break

(Sorry Mr. Kook, I know that kookiness is your domain, but I had to do this subject - Feel free to put up any posts using the title “A Kook’s Guide to” if you want…)

Disclaimer: This is a parody meant to be read by real surfers. But read this as if you were a clueless kook. That is the the only way that this post will be funny. You have been warned.

1. If you are in wetsuit weather, walk up with your wetsuit hanging around your waist. It’s a sign that you are too cool to put on your wetsuit fully until you know that the waves are good, and therefore not wasting energy, but you are still somewhat ready so that you can be out before anyone realizes you’re a kook (in the water, though, that’s a different story).

2. Stand on the beach and watch the waves for half-an-hour (time may vary depending on wave size). All the pros do it, so why shouldn’t you waste your time looking at the waves, seemingly thinking about rip-tides, paddle-out points, swell direction, drift - only losers do that! Besides, you’ll look like you’ll know what you’re doing (that is, until you get in the water).

3. Hoot and holler whenever a perfect wave peels down the line or someone already out does something incredible. Only hardcore surfers and crazy people hoot and holler for no apparent reason, and with a surfboard under your arm, people will think you’re a hardcore surfer.

4. Stick those stickers on them boards - not only will it cover the dings that you’re too kooky to know how to fix, but you’ll look like a sponsored hot-shot who can rip (again, until you get in the water). *

*I take no responsibility for black eyes in the line-up.

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Discussion

7 comments for “A Kook’s Guide to: Not looking like a kook while walking up to your break”

  1. Kooks travel in groups!!!!

    Posted by Pat | May 4, 2009, 4:24 am
  2. So was this article written by a kook that thinks they are not a kook, or was it written by a kook that doesn’t understand how kooky they are?
    Anyway the kookiness of this kooky article tickled our kookaling kookles so much that we seriously think we deserve that free firewire surfboard

    Posted by Kookmiester | May 4, 2009, 5:57 am
  3. Kooks! I like it. We call them gapers on the ski slopes.

    Posted by Flip | May 4, 2009, 2:43 pm
  4. so that means everything i do makes me a kook when im not a kook.

    Posted by wbsurfer | July 30, 2009, 8:24 am
  5. Im sure there are waaaay more kookier things than THOSE. C’mon now. What about people who wear tennis shoes on the sand?? Or ‘the new guy” who asks you how the surf is when youre coming out of the water (while they are looking at it).

    Posted by Webmarket4u | September 16, 2009, 1:36 pm
  6. This article is about NOT being a kook…

    Posted by Grom | September 18, 2009, 4:41 pm
  7. 1: I don’t lay out and tan, I’d rather be surfing. I’d like to avoid too much of a wetsuit tan in the winter(Too late…), so I need to get at least SOME sun before I cover up.

    2: Maybe not half an hour, but watching the waves and figuring out where to be is a good idea…

    3: What’s wrong with cheering someone on when they get a good wave? Sometimes stoke is contagious!

    4: Why not toss a company you believe in a little free advertisement?

    There are definitely kookier things someone could do…

    Posted by GhostGuy | March 6, 2010, 1:08 am

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