Surfing

Dear *beginner surfer*: Don’t show up to the beach in your wetsuit

Nothing will make a local’s blood boil more than seeing you pull up to check the surf at his hometown spot already decked out in your wetsuit. To fully explode his already distended arteries, you get out of your freshly detailed ride with the following accessories to go with your new wetsuit: Ralph Lauren sunglasses, sandals, a “TEXAS A&M” cap, and a pooka-shell necklace. Please save future surfer brain hemorrhages by waking up an extra ten minutes early and driving your clothed tail to the beach so that you can suit-up via towel change like the rest of us.

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