Cool sh!t

Since when do you need an ocean or an actual wave to go surfing?!

When I first saw this video I didn’t know if I was about to see some Colombian drug lord decapitate one of his double-crossing workers in one of their Bogotá weed fields…but then I realized if you’re going to surf a mattress, you should probably wear some kind of mask. Not for any cool guy reasoning, but because you’re a jackass, and it’s probably best to hide your identity. You don’t wanna be hitting on a chick one night, and have her friend pinpoint you as the stoney mattress surfer. Trust me, it’s best if women never know about all the stupid sh!t you’re doing while she’s at work and school. Then again, after a few more seconds into it, I saw that he was standing up, riding over some kind of non-weed crop field, and actually making it through a couple speed turns. Half of me wanted to be impressed by our masked hero, and the other half just wanted to go over to the neighbor’s house and hit the bong.

This one is by far the worst “Let’s not go surfing, but say we did” attempt I’ve ever seen:

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