Intel Shows Off a Web-Surfing Surfboard

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I came across this bizarre display of ridiculous surf consumerism during a random Google search this morning.  The article was originally published by ABC News on Oct 8, 2004 ...the headline screaming: "Intel Shows Off a Web-Surfing Surfboard"...a desperate attempt to save the hi-tech company from the dot.com bubble burst.  Because you wouldn't believe me if I simply summarized what the article is about, I feel that it is necessary to paste the stupidest part of the article: "Ralph Bond, a spokesman … [Read more...]

The Google Surfboard – Just when you thought surfing was safe from Google

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Google. It's everywhere. It's the tool that helps you surf the net and find great sites like DailyStoke.com (hehehe) but it also helps you find webcams and surf reports. That said, to date, Google has not invaded the surfing world. That day has come, the the first ever Google surfboard. Now, we suspect some of the folks at Google's offices in Mountain View and Newport and Santa Monica surf. In fact, we'd be that more than a few of these geeks engineers probablly shred. That said, the Google surfboard … [Read more...]

Nice Racks!

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I don't know about you, but I seriously had a problem sleeping at night knowing that my precious boards were leaning precariously against a wall. It grinds my gears. But you know what? I decided to make a place wear my boards could sleep at night, feel protected, and not get dinged. So I grabbed a pen and made an elaborate blueprint that was scaled down to every inch. It would serve as my guide to creating epic racks. All you need is: - PVC piping (I used 1 1/2 inch) - PVC T-fittings - One … [Read more...]

A Kook’s Guide to: Driving with your surfboard, without looking like a kook

Disclaimer: This is a parody meant to be read by real surfers. But read this as if you were a clueless kook. That is the the only way that this post will be funny. You have been warned. Unless you're the lucky bastard who lives a stone's toss away from the beach, most of us have to drive to get to the beach, and - most of the time - we have to bring our surfboards with us (although there is that crevice beneath the pier...). Here are some tips for you kooks for driving with your surfboard (yes, … [Read more...]

Leash or No Leash…My Vote

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There are two schools of thought - or two different debates - when it comes to surfing.  One: Longboarding or shortboarding? Longboarding is better. That one's easy.  Moving on to the second: Leash or No Leash? I thought I'd cast my vote in this debate (er, school of thought), since the first one is an open-and-closed case...right? Here's what I say:  if you are a longboarder who does helicopters or spins on your board nonstop, then I could see where a leash would get in the way.  And props … [Read more...]

A board that floats? No Way!

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Seriously, though, if someone tells you that a board "floats" and that they "don't have a camera" to take pictures, then obviously, that board is NOT in "good condition." It just don't add up, man. That's like saying "this board is a piece of crap - but at least it floats!" ... Ok. … [Read more...]

Obsessive Surfboard Disorder (OSD) “Oh, Snap!”

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Don't you hate it when you buy your brand new stick, you pick it up, turn around - BAM! - you just bang the tai against the rack of boards - before you even get out of the store! Even if you can't see any visual damage, you obsess over the trauma, and have nightmares about the "ding" letting in water. What if there's a spider-line crack that i can't see? Then if there is any damage, should I even fix it? and would I screw it up? Or should I just spend money for a pro to fix it (nah...). People … [Read more...]

Join the Luggage Club

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You thought that the airlines have got you screwed? Think again! I was perusing the internet, looking at some surf-site regulars when I noticed an ad to the side - the Luggage Club. Apparently, they specialize in transporting sporting goods as an alternative to checking it in as luggage at the airport. They even list surfboards on their list of transportable items! They claim that your equipment will get to its destination on time and in one piece. The fee is about the same as what airlines … [Read more...]

Baby on board? – As seen on Craigslist

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In case you were optimistic towards an opportunity to adopt, no, the baby doesn't come with the board. When I saw this little tidbit of information on the Craigslist post, I almost cried because my hopes of being a big brother were put down once and for all. My little surfing buddy... I would rename him Todd... yeah, that just feels right. And doesn't this little guy rip? If he was in the water he would be blowing tail, ripping face, getting tubed, and would be flashing little tiny shakas to … [Read more...]

It may tell time, but does it surf good?

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You ever thought about a way to tell time in the water without wearing a pesky watch? Me neither. Which is why I find this surfboard (or is it a clock?) quite questionable. I don't know whether to critique it or applaud it. On one hand, it's a frickin' cool clock with a frickin' cool design, but on the other hand, why not just ride it? I mean, there might be horrible de-lam on the back of something, but if it's perfectly rideable, then I shun the person who forced this poor surfboard to sit … [Read more...]